You are not in control.

We spend a lot of time working out a plan, a series of moves, a structure, a line we'll use, a mental script to impose--methods that WE THINK will be at least clever, if not genius, moves. It's a waste of time. Sure, every so often our measured, planned and thought-out response delivers a decent reward, but the true genius, the greatest moments, the ones with the most power, are unexpected, and the reward echoes.

I had stayed in touch with an ex-girlfriend from college--I had graduated, she had moved off campus. We sent letters back and forth (snail mail) and remained friendly. (This is all pre-internet, by the way--a long time ago just before all the main streets upgraded to gaslights.)

We kept in touch, I went on tour with bands. She sent a letter complaining about her roommates--insensitive, selfish, unfriendly, impolite--she hated them. I was busy on the road--no time for a letter--so I grabbed a postcard and wrote a supportive note to her: hang in there, you're right, they suck, you can move at the end of the semester. And thought no more of it.

The next time I saw her, she thanked me profusely for the genius of the postcard--her nosy roommates always read the mail, eavesdropped--the catty type. And they had seen and read the postcard when it arrived. Before she did--and they couldn't admit to her that they had.

Never my intent. But trust me, I accepted the accolade.

Stop worrying and planning and strategizing the next move. Throw yourself in, let the moment take you, and let everyone else figure out why and how you're such a fucking genius.

Because you are.